Letter to my elder one on her 12th Birthday

Letter to my elder one on her 12th Birthday

Today is your birthday my love and I feel a sense of guilt ……. I think of all the times we downplayed your achievements because your sister learned to brush teeth or comb her hair. I think of the moment when we spoke earlier in the day, I told you how excited I was that your little sister wore a mask into the shopping mall without creating a fuss. But I forgot to ask you how your day was. I forgot to tell you how proud I am of you. I forgot to tell you I love you. I never meant to do that, but I just knew that you were fine and that you understand that your kid sister’s needs are so big that sometimes I forget to fill your smallest ones. I think of all the times when I shushed your chatter and your questions because I was trying to listen to the unsaid words of your sister. She needs more of me than you did, and because of that, now you get less and I’m sorry for that. I may not have equal time for you, but I love you both equally.

I remember when you were born, and I loved every minute of those growing up years, those first wobbly steps, and those first babbly words. And today I see the amazing person you have become as sibling of a child with autism. I want to thank you for being the sweetest daughter and a protective elder sister. The joy you bring to my heart when you tell me to go ahead and enjoy my shopping while you take care of your little sister. You feed her in my absence, you dress her up, you play with her, you challenge her in a way that I can’t. You get her out of the shell, you make her want to interact and play and look pretty. Remember that look on her face when you had returned home with a new haircut, her face gleemed as if a real-life Barbie just walked into the door.

Her progress over last two years has been remarkable, and she is now this animated, funny little girl. And I must tell you that you have played a big role in this, she loves you and she looks up to you. She imagines herself as Anna and believes you to be her magical elder sister Elsa who could make anything happen in just blink of an eye.

Today you are 12 and we are celebrating YOU. I want you to be happy. I want you to know that I love you. No matter how many times you recite your birthday wish list to me to the point where I can recite it back in my sleep, I will always love you. And, I also want to remind you some important lessons ….. I know, I know you’ve heard all this a hundred million times before (as you would call it), yet again, here’s a 22-point checklist for lifetime –

  • Dream big but appreciate the beauty of little things in life
  • Nurture your dreams with hard work and passion
  • Always fight for what is right
  • Be kind and patient
  • Respect your elders
  • Build on your strengths and work on your weaknesses
  • While you appreciate & learn from other cultures, own who you are and do so with pride
  • Form your own opinion and don’t get influenced by others easily
  • Ask questions & apply logic
  • Be thankful for what you have
  • Admit your mistakes & learn from them
  • Think before you act
  • Play to win but play fair
  • Learn tact
  • Give credit where credit is due
  • Remember, Character is what you do when no one is watching
  • Never give up
  • Maths needs practice so keep practicing
  • Eat your fruits and drink lots of water
  • Return library books on time
  • And, for heaven’s sake, for your poor mom’s sake … please make your own bed.


Love & Cuddles


4 thoughts on “Letter to my elder one on her 12th Birthday”

  • Beautiful words Misha.. especially the 22 pearls of wisdom.. I want to follow them myself.. you’re doing an amazing job as a mom and it shows in your two wonderful daughters. Prisha is the sweetest kid and I have nothing but best wishes for her. She deserves all the love and happiness in the world. Happy birthday dearest Prisha! Another year and you’ll be a teenager!! Yay!!

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